‘Nobody likes you when you’re 23’

Last week my dad messaged me to ask if I was turning 26 this year, “Really?! 26?!” I’m just going to hope he’s joking and leave it there. No I am not turning 26, I am in fact turning 24 tomorrow. Have no fear, right now I am not going to recite my life story from the past 24 years on earth.


Firstly, in terms of becoming 24, I’m just really sad that I’m not seventeen anymore. That was the best age, learning to drive, chilling in common room with the pals… ah life was just pure bliss. So yeah, I would rather be enjoying my teens than getting ready to hit my mid-twenties.

I do often wonder is there a certain benchmark you’re supposed to hit when you get to certain ages? Marriage and kiddies definitely isn’t on my agenda right now, but am I supposed to have found my dream job and bought a house by now? Even writing all that gives me anxiety. I’m not one for writing “Bucket Lists” or strict goals, don’t get me wrong, I have so many things I do want to achieve in life, but if there’s one thing I have learnt in my 24 years of being on this earth it’s that every time I set out a plan life intends to get in the way. I’m not joking. Every time I try to do something or have an idea the universe is quick to interrupt and exclaim: “No we’ll do this my way I think!” Whilst this can be a bit disruptive, it’s taught me to make the best of what may not always be a bad, but a different situation.

Have I learnt anything over the past 24 years? Maybe a bit.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to figure people out, but I’d like to think that over the past few years I’ve learnt a thing or two. Without sounding like a cheesy Instagram post, don’t bother wasting time who don’t bother with you. When I discussed “What is life” I noted that: “by the time you’re in your mid-twenties you’re lucky if you’ve about six friends left.” Whether you’re out of school, uni or a job, you quickly learn who you stay in touch with.

This year the wonder that is RuPaul’s Drag Race was introduced to my life. I’m so grateful for this. From watching drag queens battle it out every week to become America’s Next Drag Superstar I have actually been inspired to be more true to myself and actually learn to appreciate myself that little bit more. This is something I’ve admittedly struggled to do, in my post ‘A reflection on 2016: Do we really need to go there?’, I touched on this, but as RuPaul proudly says, ‘If you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you going to love somebody else?’ I feel like I need to get this tattooed on my face. Whenever I feel a bit rubbish I simply stick on a bit of Sissy That Walk and I’m ready to take on the world again.

I definitely haven’t got the world figured out yet and I never will do, but here’s to another year of trying.


Tori x

By the way, if anyone is stuck for a birthday gift here is a selection of ideas:

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